Transform your iPhone into an impractical, old fashioned lump.

If for some reason you bought an iPhone, and then realised that you really wanted something that had a 1950s look and a slow, impractical dialing interface, help is now at hand – courtesy of Ebay – where else?

ICE-PHONE-DD

The clunky handset is certain to give you neck cramp, and we can only hope that the software INSISTS that you have to wait for them to wind back at the same speed as those infuriating old pulse-dials used to.

LINK

Perhaps it should go one step further and make SIRI interrupt in an annoying and inefficient manner, to give the nostalgic feel of speaking to an unhappy exchange operator?

What next, we wonder. Perhaps an authentic starting-handle to fit to your modern car, so that you can relive those wonderful halcyon days of yore where everything was an effort and nothing ever worked properly?

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Jimmy Saville fancy dress costume – guaranteed to scare the kids this Halloween…

No idea how to get your own back on the Trick-Or-Treaters this year? Here’s a costume that is guaranteed to send them running…

Where else but on Ebay…
Click here to see the auction!

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Buy my skin, all proceeds to Japanese Tsunami Victims!

FOR CHARITY!!!

Basically, I have 3 Square inches of skin on my right leg that I want to fill with a tattoo.
The rules are simple – the highest bidder can send me any design of that size and I will get it tattooed in that space. The money from this auction will be given to a charity thats helping the victims of the recent Japanese Tsunami.

The bids start at 99p, remember its for charity, so bid generously!
The winner will also get to come with me to my tattoo appointment (if you can get here, I live in Somerset) and watch their design come to life.

Theres a couple of things I will refuse as a tattoo. For obvious reasons I wont have any religious or political symbols (swasticas, BNP logos etc), depictions or pictures of people or places deemed offensive by society and I wont have anything that offends me personally, but It takes alot to offend me so don’t worry about that, try your worst!

I will accept swear words, pictures of yourself and your pets, all that kinda stuff. The funnier that tattoo, the better!

Questions welcome, good luck, and Happy Bidding! :)

PS: if you’re stuck for ideas, try a treasure map, Disney characters, a Guinness can, Brad Pitts face, a map of Tel Aviv or a photo of your dinner.

On 25-Mar-11 at 23:55:55 GMT, seller added the following information:

Oh yea, the proceeds will be going the British Red Cross.

Click here to view the auction!

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Harrier T2 Jump Jet infringes Ebay’s “Weapons and Knives Policy”

The rare 2 seater Harrier that was recently for sale on Ebay has been removed – as it infringes one of their policies.
The ex-RAF 4 Squadron Hawker Siddeley jump jet, XW269, is one of only a handful of 2-seaters that survive, and has recently undergone a full cosmetic restoration.
Exactly why it infringes the “Weapons and Knives” policy is unclear, as it’s armaments will have long been deactivated. So we can only assume that in their finite wisdom, Ebay have mistaken it for a big, flying knife…

Update: More info from the BBC website:

A decommissioned Harrier jump jet has been removed from online auction website eBay after officials said it contravened their weapons sales policy.

The outer shell of the rare two-seater T2 Harrier, a former museum exhibit, was restored by Bradford company Jet Art Aviation.

Company director Chris Wilson said the jet could not be flown and was being sold for display use only.

eBay said the item had received 140,000 hits and 80 bids of up to £94,000.

Mr Wilson, 33, of Leeds, said he had sold seven Harriers in the past to museums and collectors abroad and has all the necessary licences.
‘Aviation heritage’

The jet was stripped of all its equipment and weaponry before it left the RAF, he said.

He added: “This is an obsolete item, just a museum exhibit.

“It’s a perfectly legitimate item to sell. It’s not capable of ‘delivering weapons’, it’s not even capable of delivering a pizza.

“This is a piece of aviation heritage which needs to be preserved, and we need to be allowed to restore and sell it.”

The Harrier, built in 1971, is one of only four of its kind left in the world.

An eBay spokesman said: “We have strict policies in regards to the sale of military weaponry, meaning the jet should not have been listed for sale.

“We would like to apologise to the seller concerned for the inconvenience this has caused him.”

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Batmobile is back…

Own a genuine batmobile. Yours for half a million dollars.
BATMOBILE

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Stuffed Christmas Turkey Hat Fancy Dress

Now you too can look like a complete turkey this Christmas…

Turkey hat
Click for more details… Not recommended for those with exceptionally hungry, short-sighted relatives.

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Poo in a can – make a turd

Poo in a can. Hilarious.

POO IN A CAN

MAKE YOUR OWN TURD

JUST SQUIRT IT OUT

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UFO Artifact…

It looks like a silver dog turd, but it’s not.

UFO Artifact/silver dog turd

Travis Walton Alien Abduction — ‘Fire In The Sky’

This is an artifact from one of the most famous UFO sightings and alien abductions. Before continuing, be advised that Travis Walton has not been able to verify this story, but as explained to me, there are good reason(s) why.
On November 5, 1975, Travis and six other logging crew members had finished thinning trees in the White Mountains of eastern Arizona. Soon after starting the drive back to Snowflake, Arizona, they noticed a reddish glow above the horizon that looked like a fire in the sky. Suddenly, one of the men yelled stop and the truck skidded to a halt. Hovering silently below the treetops was a golden luminous disc-shaped UFO. Travis got out of the truck and walked towards the craft, which was the last time he was seen for five days…”

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Halloween tomorrow – act now if you still haven’t got your coffin ready!

It’s not so hard to believe that there is a coffin for sale on Ebay – but’s it’s slightly more remarkable that there’s a choice!
If you are running late and haven’t picked up yours by now, then you had better be quick… this stunning example ends in less than an hour!
COFFIN, HALLOWEEN, DRACULA, WEIRD

Well the example above has ended, but another seller has a genuine, wooden coffin for sale. One that will apparently make a nice bookshelf, or drinks cabinet.
For 200 quid it could even be a cheap receptacle in which to bury grandma. Or is that just crazy talk?
“Full sized genuine coffin. Purchased from an undertakers when closing. Need to get rid as I have had it over ten years and it simply takes up too much room.
Ideal for Halloween parties (makes a great lucky dip) or just to have in the house if that’s what you fancy. Could be made into a great drinks cabinet/settee/book shelf by someone with the right skills.”

Bit late for halloween now though…

In other creepy news, the chance to own your very own certificated gibbet cage has now passed.
“This is one of 2 Gibbet or hanging cages made for a TV programme due out in the Autumn it is designed for locking an unfortunate prisoner in and hanging up, they are a close copies based on research and examination of originals, the frame is fully welded with showpiece rivets to give an older look. It would be ideal for a re-enactment group or other more personal usage!
Designed to have a safe working load of 70kgs and with locking wrist and ankle clamps an average sized person would find it impossible to get out if locked in.
True to the originals the lower half of the front swings open to allow access and then when locked closed will restrain both ankles and wrists whilst the upper body is constrained by the chest and head piece.
Comes with a certificate of SWL
This weighs around 35kgs empty so precautions must be taken if hanging it up, the hanging point must be strong enough to take the combined weight and allow for movement.
This item is blacksmith made and is not a toy or cheap prop.”

Nice.

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Silvio Berlusconi gift to Blair sold for £98 on eBay by Cherie

Following the revelation that penny pinching Cherie had sold a copy of her husband’s signature on Ebay, the latest news from the Daily Telegraph is that she also flogged one of the items that had most likely been gifted to them by the Italian Prime Minister.

What is not mentioned in the following quote is that, due to rules regarding gifts in office, the Blairs would have had to pay around £160 in order to keep the gift when they left Number 10. So she has actually made a loss!

Whip round, anyone?

“Her husband has banked an estimated £20 million since leaving office three years ago, but Cherie Blair, it seems, still has a passion for counting the pennies.

The prices of Locman Mare Titanium wristwatches start at around £300

While Tony Blair has been earning up to £6,000 per minute as a speaker, his wife has been adding to the family fortunes by selling a watch thought to have been given to the former prime minister by his Italian counterpart, Silvio Berlusconi.

Earlier this month, Mrs Blair sold the Locman Mare Titanium timepiece on eBay, the auction website, for £98 after advertising it as “unused in its original box with guarantee”.

The wristwatch, which would have cost at least £300 when new, was thought to have been one of nine given to the Blairs by the famously generous Mr Berlusconi that they decided to pay for when they left Downing Street three years ago.

Nor was the watch the only thing Mrs Blair sold in recent months. Among the more bizarre items she offered was a piece of paper signed by her husband, which fetched £10 last week.

A spokesman for Mrs Blair claimed she had not intended to profit from the autograph, saying she had advertised it to “undermine the market” in Blair signatures, because she was upset that people were selling them for up to £35. She claimed to have refunded the £10 as soon as she had sold the signature.

The spokesman said he had “no knowledge” of the sale of the watch.

Since leaving Downing Street, Mr Blair has been highly paid for speaking engagements, and as an adviser to foreign rulers and financial institutions.

But Mrs Blair is still keen to get a bargain when it comes to furnishing the seven properties the family now own. According to her eBay account, Mrs Blair has snapped up crockery, cutlery and kitchenware at bargain prices.

This month she bought six Mappin & Webb silver plate soup spoons for £17.50; a 10-piece fish cutlery set for £34.99; 12 fruit knives for £44.99; a Magimix food processor for £219; and digital bathroom scales for £1.64.

Mrs Blair is known to have been an enthusiastic user of eBay for at least six years, and often uses it to buy Lego and other toys for the couple’s youngest son, Leo, 10.”

Source

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